Steve's Job

 

What Lennon did after they called him the fat Beatle

Not that anyone gives a shit, but I have suspicions as to why Steve Jobs didn't give the keynote speech at this year's Macworld Expo. For one thing, there really wasn't much to announce (unless they deliberately pulled the good stuff out when Steve pulled himself). iLife and iWork updates are fine but not big news. The 17" Macbook Pro was already promised, no surprise there. There were probably several reasons and I wonder if one of them was that Steve didn't want to stand up and admit he'd caved to the Big Four record companies on the variable pricing wrinkle. After all, he made the downloadable music market what it is today the same way Henry Ford created the auto industry. You could buy music online before Jobs and automobiles before Ford but nobody had made any sense of their industry before these guys. Jobs with cheap legal music and Ford with cheap mass-produced autos.

Before iTunes lots of people were getting all their music from Napster. When Apple released the first generation iPod and iTunes, 99 cent songs made more sense than nefarious peer to peer activity. As it was so many of those files on Napster turned out to be half of a song, sounded like shit, or some kind of virus that turned their pc into a spambot. Steve fixed all that but probably held on to that 99 cent model a little too long just like old Henry built the Model T long after Chevy had passed him with snazzier models.

Speaking of vanity, Steve was good enough to share some news about his health with the great unwashed. He's losing valuable proteins due to a hormone imbalance. The poor bastard should be down to about 50 pounds by now. He couldn't fill the turtleneck it takes to present a Macworld keynote! Good thing he's already begun treatment. Considering his vegan lifestyle I say a fucking cheeseburger would probably do wonders.